“They motivate us to act,” says Emma Carpenter, M.A., a marriage and family therapist at A Better Life Therapy. “In the days of hunters and gatherers, emotions were used as a way to protect ourselves from predators and the elements.” Even though we’re far from those hunter-gatherer days, emotions are still helpful because they tell us what’s good for us and what’s bad for us. What can push emotions into unhealthy territory is a lack of understanding about how to cope with them. It’s important to acknowledge and process your emotions so you can move past them rather than getting stuck, says psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW. For example, acting impulsively in response to an emotion can be unhealthy, whereas taking time to think about your emotions before responding is often more productive and can help you move past them more quickly in the long term. In other words, having a lot of emotions is healthy and normal. Lacking healthy ways to cope with your emotions is what can get you into trouble. To improve your sleep hygiene and create a calmer place to land, avoid drinking caffeine late in the day, begin a bedtime routine, and turn off your devices at least 30 minutes before bedtime. If you’re feeling emotionally out of control, consider what your diet has looked like for the past week. What can you change? For starters, here are some superfoods for better mood and foods that help with anxiety. That said, trauma is complex: Your emotions may feel out of control, or you may feel like you don’t have emotions at all. Both of these responses are normal. Either way, it’s important to seek help from a qualified therapist so you can work through the challenging situation and clue into what your emotions might be telling you. Hendel says it’s important to remember that people who’ve experienced a lack of safety and security in their lives are also likely to have more emotional triggers. Other conditions like ADHD and personality disorders can also affect mood and emotional processing. If you’re concerned, you might benefit from speaking with a trained mental health professional. In other words, you may feel like you’re being very emotional right now because you think emotions are not OK, when in reality your feelings right now are totally normal and even healthy. Many cultures still treat emotions as untouchable entities not acceptable for public conversation, and there is little education about how to process difficult emotions. People raised as boys and men, especially, are discouraged from engaging with their emotions. If you tend to judge others and/or yourself for being emotional, it’s worth interrogating your meta-emotions—i.e., how you feel about emotions in general. Some people are by nature more sensitive than others. These people are sometimes referred to as highly sensitive people (HSPs). As much as 20% of the population may be HSPs, according to some research. Carpenter says highly sensitive people might be more likely to feel more deeply—which may mean they’re prone to heightened emotional experiences. “This is when emotions can feel difficult to work through,” Carpenter says. “But with practice, we can feel less overwhelmed.” Processing your emotions in a healthy way is all about paying attention. Rather than burying them, learn to separate your emotions from their associated thoughts using this emotional coping method from psychologist Danielle Dowling, Psy.D.: Hendel also notes there are two categories of emotions to watch for: core emotions and inhibitory emotions. Core emotions tell us about our environments. “Core emotions are brilliant,” she says. “Their innate programming tells us important information to help us thrive.” They include sadness, fear, anger, joy, excitement, sexual excitement, and disgust, she says. Inhibitory emotions, on the other hand, are emotions that often prevent you from experiencing those core emotions. These include shame, anxiety, and guilt. If your emotions are leading to suicidal thoughts, seek help immediately or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
