On the contrary, taking time to really connect with each other and just have fun is perhaps more important now than ever. Strengthening your relationship can help you both feel more grounded and secure in the face of uncertainty, and getting those feel-good hormones like oxytocin (from touch) and endorphins (from laughter) flowing can help quell stress and anxiety. Here are some journaling prompts if you’re new to this and some journal prompts for navigating COVID-19 specifically, if you want to go there. You can also just pick topics that one or both of you resonate with right now or struggle with—perfectionism, anxiety, gratitude, career aspirations, family relationships, fear of failure, loneliness, sexual fantasies, or insecurities. Or if you want to go for something a little more lighthearted and creative, consider starting bullet journals. You can also make other kinds of plans. For example, what if you spent an evening thinking through what you want to be doing one year from now, five years from now, and 10 years from now? Write down what you come up with so you can reflect on it later. New also doesn’t have to mean kinky. Consider trying something different from your usual routine, such as a “first base date” or listening to audio erotica together. There are also some great apps dedicated to helping couples connect and get inspired sexually that you can download for other ideas. (Dipsea is one great option, featuring sexy audio stories, sexual meditations, and guided how-to’s you can explore together.) Spend a night taking turns asking each other each question, and end the session with four minutes of eye-gazing. (Don’t skip that part—it’s where the love magic supposedly happens!) Have fun! With her warm, playful approach to coaching and facilitation, Kelly creates refreshingly candid spaces for processing and healing challenges around dating, sexuality, identity, body image, and relationships. She’s particularly enthusiastic about helping softhearted women get re-energized around the dating experience and find joy in the process of connecting with others. She believes relationships should be easy—and that, with room for self-reflection and the right toolkit, they can be. You can stay in the loop about her latest programs, gatherings, and other projects through her newsletter: kellygonsalves.com/newsletter
